shelovespocky :)

2008-04-24T04:35:00.000-07:00

whoosh, Im considering closing down this blog. yeah
for whatever reason. HAHA
Im gonna do livejournal I think.
I think lifejournal is KEWL
HAHAHA
Its time to keep a personal blog, only for loved ones to see and me to rant my everything.
till then, see you, my dear friends on friendster then, or even msn. HAHAHA!
thankyou for being so loyal to view my blog(:
LOVES YOU ALL
& BIG HUGS TO YOU ALL!

one last post before I bid good bye to this blog.

currently on the process of slimming down, sheeding tose uncessary fats and people, pls believe me, Im fat now. HAHA. I used to be 39kg, and now im 45kg. MAN! clothes are so hard to wear cause you have to consider whether they will reveal those bumps around your waist and its damn ungly for goodness sake, so, Im declaring exercising and slimming down days, till I reach, 38kg? I wont get anorexic, I'll still eat good food. Jus that, I'll be tanner and fitter, I'll swim, I'll run eveyrthing just to get back to 38-40kg range, then, I'll be glad. HAHAHA!

Im WONDERWOMAN!!!

*what a post, rolling my eyes* HAHAHA!

2008-04-21T01:38:00.000-07:00

First day of school
with heavy eyebags, heavy heart,
I smile and off! I went to school.

Was really happy to see thsoe familliar faces once again. I have a new class. But, I still kinda lost, dont know where to go, because I haven got my timetable yet. Oh gosh, timetable, pls hurry come can?

Being in the same class as my sister is ever so fun! mind you, everyone was like" oh my god! double the noise and trouble" those kinda things. LOL

I look forward to singing praises to the most high king
and I have decided to letgo of eveyrhting in my life, I shall not fall in love anymore, Iw ont draw hearts anymore. now, no one's in my mind, except, my dear daddy GOD! yeah ^^

2008-04-20T03:44:00.001-07:00

HAHA. finally dig out sometime to blog.
HMM. the entire's week been alright.
I've been missing people
I miss crapping with baybay the noobshyt
I miss janice,rebecca and grace. Even though i know that I wont really care and wont find their way here to my blog. they have already deleted me off their featured friends. so, I kinda get what it means. WHOOOSH, LET GO, GIRL (:
I miss verillyn the hot babe
I miss my secondary school friends
I even miss my animals! I miss my past popo and mikey. AWW
I must say, I miss agressors a lot. Haven been there, dont know when. See how la. things aint as simple as it seems to be. LOL

LALALA~~ ALICE, just LET GO and stop missing those people.
MOVE ON with LIFE!
sometimes, I just need to give myself a good whole lot of spamming and scolding to myself to wake myself up from my own comfort zone of whinning where and what and why and how and who those kinda things. If you guys really know what I mean and how it feels. LALA.

God has been really great to me. Esp after senior sunday school today, I really really promise myself not to hurt daddy God anymore. I want to send him sms like I would do to those whom I love and care always. I want to be focused. I want to set priority for Him, the creator of ALICE, the comfortor of this elf. YEAH. DADDY GOD, ALICE LOVES YOU MANY MANY YEAH!

School starting like soonish soon soon. Im pretty excited. BUT, I dont have my timetable yet. Its kinda comfusing and messed up for me la, mainly because I failed my last semester and I have to retake and really, its gonna be like so different from my classmates. Different timing, different places for lectures and tutorials. GOSH, I will really miss you guys a lot, esp, TBO4 my first year classmates. I love them a lot. I enjoyed myself so much during the chalet with them, that how I wished, the chalet will be like longer and not end so quickly. I bet ya, we love the game OHM CHI CHI ^^

after service,I went to meet uo with my another noob friend. had prata, 2 BIG PRATAs, mind you! LOL, gosh, Im gonna e like so FATSO again. But never mind, Im determined to slim down once again because the thought of slimming down thrills me now. LOL. say Im crazy, I think, I am. HAHA. well, its good to be hwat, tan and fit, wear clothes easier and you wont have any extra fats around your belly which sometimes can be really irritating and uncomfortable, If you know what I mean and how it feels like to have big big tummy. LOL.

SO,
Im gonna swim three times a week,
jog twice per week
hula hooping 100 times everyday
ten push ups everyday
25 medicine ball twist and turn everyday
LOL

plus plus
I mut read my bible everyday and do quiet time and pray to daddy God everyday.
Im a christian, So, I love God, so I shall worship him too, everyday!
sounds good yeah! HAHA!, IM GOSHHHY HAPPY LAAA~!!!

WELL, I got myself a long shirt, a bag which cost ten dollars only( mid you, outside sell up to 25 dollars okie) Im pro at bargaining ^^, a new watch and a necklace of a guy and girl kissing, LOL, at DIVA! CHEAP OKIE! LOL

BACK TO THE OLD SCHOOL~!!

2008-04-17T20:57:00.000-07:00

Its been sucha long time ever since I had some much fun in the week.
besides the bowling and laughing session with guanpeng and Tzu yu, yesterday's chalet was a BUM!!!
LOL, First time seeing melvin so damn high playing games and learning guitar .
First time seeing nicholas with such positive attitude because of his encounter with God that changed his life totally.
Im really very happy and glad to hear that, so, nicholas, jiayou, continue to seek God and may you delight in his ways!First time not sleeping for the entire night and not feeling tired at ALL until around 9am in the morning.
LOL woo, I reached around 12pls am, after talking to Shaen.
Had strawberry pocky, milk and one plain prata and many laughs. that's really nice, like how best friends spend time together, without going to great places like vivo city. just some void deck, but its enjoyable.
LOLthen to go to pasir ris and there was this noob taxi driver who doesnt know where on earth is CHANGI ALOHA. WAH.well, in the end, managed to reach the chalet but the taxi fare was oh my god, 10.60dollars! man, My heart broke sia. I spend 38 dollars in two days! and now I have no money in my wallet. GOSH. this is so sad LA. HAHA. nvm, God, I pray for many kind heart people to treat me lunch from today onwards till next wee when I get my pocket money, I'll save hard and treat them something nicer when Im richer. LOLWOO. then the first thing I reached I ate again. oh GOSH.
FIDELIA so slim now, TING still as SLIM, and ALICE's A FWAT ASS nowwwww!! LIKE TOTALLY LA!.

gosh, please argh alice, no more MAC, no more fried and oily food. no more snack. no more coffee, no more pocky!! and start eating healthy food and do many many exercise!!HAHA! LOL! LMAO! LE MAO! LAOMAO! MAO MAO! MEOW! =DLOL. we played many games and we really went crazy. I was screaming and yelling at the top of all my intestines like heart, lungs, stomach, gall bladder. because It was really very fun and funny, esp when we play the game ohm chi chi.
GOSH, we literally LAUGHED AND YELLED, YELLED AND LAUGHED.NICHOLAS and ANDREA's hand and melvin called it YU SHUO, LOL, went red like lobster mans. and nic's got blister one somemore. ultimate sia. LOLwe played until 5 plus am, yvonee, tingting, nic and I we went to changi broadway to do quiet time, worship daddy God and share our life story. GOSH, you guys rawk like totally.

NIC: press in to seek daddy God and know that he is always there
TING: thanks so much for encouraging me and do trust God in every situtation
YVONEE: never run dry because I know that God will still hear you no matter who we are and what we are, be focus and I LOVE YOU GIRL!! damn high one la you, always doing cheers and ended up Im the one doing stupid cheers.

LOL to all of these threes : I LOVE YOU GUYS.

lets pray and seek God's direction in our life and in tp yeah? Because we are sure to be place there for a reason, greater purpose! :)jiayou!! we took many many pictures on the way back to the chalet, some really nice ones and for dont know what on one earth reason, every group photos that we took yesterday, OMG, I looked so ugly, cui and nerdy! sad LA. those have to very nice and pretty one I look ugly. Those no need ones, I look BETTER. what is this man. LOLwoohooo, we went back, walked long distance, legs aching, but everything very meaningful and interesting with the 2 hours we shared abot our life story. God is good, ALL THE TIME AND ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD!

back to the chalet, watched horror movie, damn, I was still scared and noob as I was so many years ago, watch abit only andstarted to yell and scream and started to bomb the poor jeremy with many qns like " eh, what happen to that guy? in the end how? " LOL. those kinda qns when he himself haven even watched the movies. LOL. I was irritating and "funny". Worse still, I was hiding behind jeremy then after that thinking its way too scary, I went to sit at the bact sofa, so that I can hide better. I t was a gross show. LOL. not for the faint hearted ones like me. LOL then till around 9am, I started to get very tired and that noob nicholas had to take a so " tak GLAM" photo of me sleeping, and the rest of those sleeping too. oh my gosh, melvin slept like baby, so cute la! HAHA!

LUNCH was a toast wich was DAMN EX! 2.90 for one piece, one ice cream cone, one cup of cappucino from McCafe and one ya kun bread which tingting cant finish. LOL. random breakfast. well, I dont have much money and I dont really know what to eat you see. LOLYVONEE! ALICE WANTS PHOTOS! UPLOAD!!UUPLOAD!! charge up!!yeah, that's about all, I guess. YEAH.

haha, going for swim and a good run tomorrow morning, till then, photos up and enjoy what we enjoyed at the chalet!

-ALICEinthewonderland! =D

2008-04-13T09:03:00.000-07:00

I like this song from planetshakers, their new album called FREE. INEEDYOU-
school's starting soon. there are certainly thingsto buy. Its just a matter of time and money as I always tell my fellow classmates and good friends,
MONEY IS NEVER A PROBLEM
THE PROBLEM IS NO MONEY LOL
A pair of aviators
A pair of suspenders
A converse sneakers( black or the cute colourful dino one! <3)
A new bag, maybe.
A nicer and more presentable wallet get my elmo and cookie monsters top from QIXIA
more tops and bottoms and maybe some cute dresses are good too ^^
New Bag ReleasedLouis VuittonMonogram Tisse Rayure Clutch.

Things happening next week? CLASS CHALET! HOORAY! YAY! I so LOOK FORWARD TO IT LA! WAITED FOR SO LONG! =D FINALLY! PLAY TIME!
there is no higher calling
no greater honor than to bow and kneel before your throne
Im amazed by your glory
embraced by your mercy
O Lord, I live to worship you

there can be miracles when you believe
YEAH

2008-04-11T22:09:00.000-07:00

two days at planetshakers were great and wonderful.
I enjoyed worshipping God like more than one hour each time.
I simply enjoy the presence of God
and I know that I dont have to be anyone great or special or wonderful to love and worship him

yeah,
beautifulone, Iloveyou
beautifulone,Iadore
JesusIloveYOU.

2008-04-10T09:50:00.000-07:00

Angel of Mercy
How did you find me?
Where did you read my story?
Pulled from the papers
Desperate and hardened seeking a moment every fix

All I wanted to say
All I wanted to doIs fall apart now
All I wanted to feelI wanted to love
Its all my fault now
A Tradegy I fear

Angel of Mercy
How did you find me?
How did you pick me up again?
Angel of Mercy
How did you move me?
Why am I on my feet again?

And I see you
Whoa Whoa Whoa
I feel youWhoa Whoa Whoa
Before just the daylight

Come and i stand by
Waiting to catch the quickest plane
Flying to nowhereIs better than somewhere
That's where i've been and nothing's changed

All I wanted to sayAll I wanted to doIs fall apart now
All I wanted to feel
I wanted to love
Its all my fault now
A Tragedy for sure

Angel of Mercy
How did you find me?
How did you pick me up again?
Angel of MercyHow did you move me?
Why am I on my feet again?

And I see youWhoa
I feel you
Whoa
Im so lost in you
A tradegy seemed to be over now
A tradegy it seemed to be

Angel of Mercy
How did you find me?
How did you pick me up again?

Angel of Mercy
How did you move me?
Why am I on my feet again?
And I see you whoa

I feel you
WhoaI feel you
Oh Whoa
I feel you
Oh Oh Oh

2008-04-09T22:15:00.003-07:00

its okie, its alright!
ALICE ALICE fight fight fight! :)

I feel good.
I had my beauty sleep and yeah, I feel Good.

2008-04-08T08:01:00.001-07:00

I feel a need to cry
I feel a need to let it out
before it runs dry
before I know Im not alright

it is that heart wreching feel
how you wish your heart can be kill
like a steak on the grill
oh god, save me from all these frills

do u know how its feels
to feel that nothings right for you
no dreams drawn in your mind
can be fulfill

Chorus
just because im small
doesnt mean I dont have those feels
just because I failed
doesnt mean I remain a screw all my life I knew

I need to cry
to tell myself that its alright
atleast you've alive
and God is there for you

I need to write
so I know how I feel
atleast I've tried
to tell myself i will
live on and have strong will.

-chords and lyrics by Alice
entitled A heart wrenching feel

teardrops as I wrote this song,
I'll nv forget it felt
It feels like the flowers no longer bloom
and your life no more a groom
your freedom is only in your own room
your dreams are nothing but left a doom.

2008-04-07T21:21:00.000-07:00

been hearing these a lot ever since many things happened from last April till this year.
Alice, you've changed a lot

be it positively and negatively, I think, Its up to you guys
because I know that Im really much better now, more gentle and considerate.
other people's opinions matters to me because I wante to be a good testimony as a christian and I really wante to know how people think of me as a friend. But, good grief, it doesnt affect me.

and those people who loathe and cant really accept change, sad to say or should I put it in this way, its a matter of a fact,

Change is the only thing in the world, that is constant :)

Those people who doesnt change and doesnt like change are like those people who run and looks back in a race, clinging and hanging on to their past, hurts or memories of the good.
I think,生命是有一种绝对. one should live their life to the fullest.
Life is not a bed of roses, get up and get a life.
Dont slack or dont procrastinate because each and every single minute on earth is worth for you to do something about your life and to love and cherish those around you more.
To wake up everyday feeling happy is a choice. ever heard of this saying?
Happy days are made by happy people
happy people are made by choice

so, to all my dear friends, Live your life, Live your dreams, Life up your dreams. let it come ALIVE.

-WONDERWOMANwantstoFLY :)

2008-04-07T00:26:00.000-07:00

Im very very fan over many things.
I feel a need to rumble, grumble, tumble, crumble.
whatever the weather.
Im frowning and doing my signiture pig face.
I wante to go to see my Aggressor friends which im certain, I'll be feeling better and happier there.
rather than sitting in front of my com and staring into space.
ARGH.
HAO FAN AR.
2nd part of the day

"WO HAO FAN" byebye!! zaijian!! sayanara!! BUIBUI! LIAOLIAO~!!

andSHE'SgoingforDEFERMENTofschoolforGOODforjust6MONTHS.
dontmissmetoomuch. I'llBEbacksoonishSOONsoon.

ohYEAH!

AGRESSORS.IMISSYOUALL! bits and pieces! =D

wonderwomancomingbacksoon.

2008-04-06T04:53:00.000-07:00

Down at your feet we fall
In the most high place

we seek your face, we seek your face

There is no higher calling
No greater honour than to bow and fall before your throne
Im amazed by your glory
Embraced by your mercy
O Lord, I live to worship you

I woke up this evening with this song stuck in my head.
All amazed by God's sovereignity and great love for us.

Justin timberlake, you're always special and unique okie?

caught up in my mind
are just thoughts of worries
oh God, grant me peace in my heart as your words say, your peace, transcends all understanding :)

its just like a couple of days, but Im really alrady missing the Aggressor people. those laughter, encouragement, and their ever so enthu hen HAO de spirit yeah!

ILOVEYOULORD

GodLOVESSTUPIDCHILDREN :)

2008-04-05T05:38:00.000-07:00

First and foremost, this entry is dedicated to my fellow noobshyt baybay (not my boyfriend pls, you readers dont anyhow think. but he's the most wonderful noobshyt friend in the world)

During my youth service today, Pastor Andrew YOOO! from cornerstone church preached about LOVING THE UNLOVED. I learnt many many things but towards the end of his message, he asked us to close our eyes and think of someone whom you think is unloved, actually He said a whole lot of things, I cannot remember, I thought of others too, but baybay is one of those shocking ones who came to my mind. and yes, I think God wantes to use me to tell you five simple words " My Son, I love you."
Yup, enough said, note taken, you should know what I mean. HAHA
yeah, I really didnt expect you but yah, our God works wonders in miraculous ways. HAHA
right BAYBAY noobshyt? LOL

and this is for you baybay :)
I want to let you know that For God to heal us of our hurts, we need to open up to Him. Dont be stubborn and dont harden your heart. God is always waiting patiently, with open arms for you :)
and God loves you simply for who you are. I dont know how you take it, but I think God wants me to pray for you everyday. LOL. pray for NOOBSHYT everyday! HAHA
yeah, that's why I say, God is a humourous God. HAHA!!
well, nevertheless, no matter how much you suan me and I suan you, you are LOVED!! BEST NOOBSHYT AROUND YEAH!!
same goes for justin yeah?? Soften your hearts for God.
and just tell him " LOrd, have your way in me"
Dont think of those complications or past hurts. look forward and trust that God is good, and he has great plans for you guys yeah??

then, another post for my dajieda, XIAOTING JIEJIE!
and I truly thank God for such a divine appointment to know her through ken. she someone whom I can puor my heart out to, without worrying how she would think of me. Thankyou for praying for me today yeah. I felt so much better and ALICE's very joyful again! I'll treat you botak jones when I earn enough yar? wait for my treat yeah! soonish soon soon okieee!! just wante to say, when I count my blessings, you are infact, more than a blessing. WO AI NI XIAOTING! HEARTS HEARTS AND HUGS HUGS YEAH!! Hope to go out with you more often. you always have so much things to share and advice me. I LIKE! Also, you WOW me when you lead your sheep in cg. takecare and love you always! anything bored or sa, can share with me too! I dont gossip! I only crazy with that noobshyt baybay. HAHA!!!

Today what Pastor Andrew shared left me transformed and changed after the service. which was in a way, GOOD LA!! I think he prophetically released a word without knowing. He said there are many people here worried. and I funny la, go reply "AMEN" and he said, ya, you are one of them, I can sense the worries worried spirit in you. and tears welled up in my eyes. HAHA

after 14April, I book you okie! Pastor Andrew, go lim kopi, tell story, sing happy songs and praise our Daddy :)

ALICE HEARTS PASTORANDREWYEOOOO!! :)

I always think, My life is saved with a price and just felt that My life is very special and unique. Its full of surprises, problems, learning experiences. I meet special people in my life, those who left a footprint in my heart and impacted my life. I dont dare to say that I've been through really a lot, like life and death. But I think, its enough to make people wow. And of course, I wow when ever I thought of it also. Thinking back the things that happened the last few months, I never thought God would plan such events and adversities in my life. small life, but a tale, written by God's fingers yeah? Each time I responded to altar call, I felt its like snake, shedding the old skin and renewed with the new skin. I always feel refreshed in my heart and faith. thankyouGod, for being a faithful God. Thou art worthy and worthy of all praise! AMEN!

and forever I will sing
my greatest honor will always be to serve my Lord and King :)
and I wante to carry the ark of God with me.
his presence.
Amen

sick-a-more tree`~ sycamore tree. LOL

and I think its time for me to let you guys know, Im stopping studies for quite awhile. Do miss me cause I know I will miss everyone in school. esp becca, grace, janice, huijuan, yanhong, inda, yankai, liting, fidelia, matata, kok kian, yao li, ming jay, chiakeng, Nisa, and many many more.
I'llmissyoupeopleinschool. But I'll be very strong and brave oki?
cause Im janjan's brave and wonderful Alice, who lives in wonderland :)

WONDERWOMAN IS ME.
BEHIND THE WONDERWOMAN LIFESTORY

IS JESUS MY SUPERHERO YEAH!

2008-04-04T01:51:00.000-07:00

I WANTE TO

SLIMdown! those people who think that Im crazy. im NOT.
IM 44kg! I gained5 kg in 2months! and that's really crazy!

at my height, 44kg, Im a fat noobie noob noob la.
I better faster slim down soonish soon soon
before I get so flabbish flabby flabby flab flab.
LAI! ALICE! jiayou! slim down!

how?
run thrice per week
gym thrice per week
swim twice per week
everyday hulahoop 100 rounds
45 sit ups
23 push ups
3 pull ups

no more MAC
no more sweet
no more chocolate
no more strawberry milktea or coke
only water

imissthosepeopleoutthere.

2008-04-03T10:38:00.000-07:00

[雄鹰] - ALICE 生为雄鹰人, 死为雄鹰魂.
我爱你们 =D

you guys were great.
I literally SIBEI like to see you guys talk, have fun, joke around, and serious about business.
two words

HEARTS YOU ALL :)

during this short period, I heart a very positive attitude from you guys, esp people like fabian, kangsoon, weiming..many many more.

Infact, I see greatness in each and everyone of you :)

so happy to know you guys. sucha great appointment of sucha times :)

你们是好的喔！

kok leong is crazy. Zhao kai is crazy too.

singing king. dancing king.

crazy la you two. HAHAHA

HUGS&KISSES!

XOXOfromALICEintheWONDERLAND =D

2008-04-03T00:45:00.000-07:00

do I seriously to you all, actually have that childish mindset?
yes, I do love to joke and laugh alot.
say alot of stupid and crappy things .
but have you all ever wondered why I always like that?
because I dont ever wante to get back to depressed mood ever again.
and its also another way of me hiding my emotions from other people, when I cant really express it out in the way I wante.
If i were to, I might just go bang the wall and die la.
Its not doing me any good to stay sad.
Whatever you all adults say, Its just not going to change me, the lively, bubbly and cheerful girl infront of everyone.
What for go round telling everyone about your problems?
Im no seeking for any sympathy or what.
Say I give attitude. NOOBSHIT.
Whoever at this age doesnt have any hormone secretion of rebellion I would say, remains a child and deosnt grow at all. or that person is down syndrome and cant grow vertically in terms of wisdom or mindset at all.
sorry but I think Im not childish. I've gone thru lots the past year and now another round of problems like ferris wheel that goes round and round and round. and havent I been trying to stay strong and its especially for those people around me who cares for me.
If you dont, I dont give a damn about you.
Pls dont mind my language here. Im angry. And Im really angry
I have no reason to be angry infront of you all, because you all are older and elder than me.
and hey, Im not rebellious and kicking a ass temper infront of you all.
Im controlling and just expressing myself like how I feel in my blog. and not infront of you guys.
If I ever need to release myself and cry.
excuse me, It would be in my bed.
If i ever need to look sad and sulk,
excuse me, I'll smile even bigger and wilder.
Its because Im growing, I have a mind of my own and I dont need you all to go around looking out for me.
I know,I may look weak and fragile. oh pls, ask anyone, what i've been, would they ever think that Im a weaking ugly duckling again?
pls, all brainless one, im freaking angry. yet Im controlling my own angry
is this childish or what??
spoils my mood again.
its never and not easy to get back on myself, esp, I've just stopped school.
everyone's going school in april. Im not. and I repeat once again. Im not.
someone, put yourself in my shoes.
please.
but I warn you, I dont need even a single tinge of sympathy.
if you do feel that way, just pls go and give one million to those poor aunt or lao pekpek selling tissues of the street
I say this to your shame. I repeat again,
I say this to your shame.

noobshit.
I dont wante to talk about this anymore
Im stressed
Im destressed
I need to d-stress
Im sulking like nobody's business
Im rolling my eyes like marble rolling on the ground.
Im filled with rage that anyone comes to bothers me, I'll bite.
if you're unhappy with me with what im saying here
I say this again
try putting yourself in my shoes as I've and I always do try to put myself on other people's shoes to think how would they think and feel.
is this childish?
Im furrowing my eyebrows with many thoughts in my head.
I dont need sympathy.
I dont need money.
I dont need comfort.
I dont need anything
I just need a shoulder to cry and lean on.
oh God, save me from this anger and agony noobshit.

I still need to survive and smile.
cause My sis's coming back later from camp later, after four days,
I miss my twin.

Oh God, help me to stretch and inch out a smile.
or not, to pat on her shulder and tell her, dear sister, I miss you and sure you had fun at the camp.
when Im having noobshit all around me
of course I wont tell her that.

noobshit.
noobshit.
NOOBSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dont wante to talk about it anymore.

2008-04-02T08:32:00.000-07:00

I was thinking.
Should i blog about it or not. Is it too personal?
But after thinking, I think I should
because its for those dear lovely friends who care to read and maybe pray for me :)
pls dont mind the negative in it, pls dont involve any religion thingy in it. I know Im a christian, I shuld love my parents.
I do love them, but not this way.
Definitely not.
well, whatever you may think or judge or say,
Its my blog. Im happy :)

我不是那沉默的羔羊
我有话要讲

From then on,
No more of expressing myself to you
Whether Im happy or sad
I'll not, I'll never let you know
I'll not let you see my smile as far as I can
I'll not let you see my fears and tears
I'll not let you feel my pain
Because you are not fit to do so
Because Im not fit
To be your daughter
I cant be your perfect good child
Im sorry
Because I cant do it and
I dont fit

从今已后
不会再有表达自己的时候
不管是开心或是伤心
我是不会让你知道
我不会让你看见我的笑
我不会让你看见我害怕或我的眼泪
我不会让你感受到我的苦
因为你不配
因为我不配
当你的女儿
我做不到你理想的完美小孩
我真的对不起
因为我做不到
我不配

better not let me catch anyone see this already and report to someone of high authority. Like someone who did so. I especially hate it. Its invading of privacy. HAHA. which explain why the person dont have my new blog. WOOO. this feeling is like GOOD~~ :)

one of my friend told me that the period when she was not with her boyfriend, she has the time to think about what she likes and passionate about and she really got so in love with what she's gonna do. Im so glad for her.
I think I should do so too, even tho I dont have a boyfriend. It time to spend more time alone, in addition, I think Im grounded. YA. at this age. gosh la, to my shame. I think mum's crazy. she's driving her kid here crazy too. LOL.
I think I should just go and bang the wall and fall asleep.
No, I should think of nothing now and think for my future
and the songs Im leading my fellow brothers and sisters this friday for cell group.

How nice it is, If I were to express myself through piano other than only werds.
How nice it is, If I know how to read the little dao gei on music notes. then I'll really write and compose songs and lyrics
How nice it is, If my sister is wth me now. She went for OLTC camp. she must be happy.
How nice it is, If Im under stars and not stress now.
a million of "how nice it is" would not suffice for how I truly feel deep within my heart.

canon in D for how I feel now. dont ask me why. I dont know why
and jaychou's caihong in addition to stop&stare by one repulic.

the gft is the gift of the song

and

" A person is still a person, no matter how small. "

IloveALL!

2008-04-01T20:22:00.001-07:00

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
You scored as a Education/Counseling
You should strongly consider majoring in Education, such as early childhood education, middle childhood education, secondary education, or related majors (e.g., Vocational Education, Special Education, P.E./Physical Education).

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Psychology is a great minor for education majors. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.
Education/Counseling 100%
English/Journalism/Comm 94%
Visual&PerformingArts 88%
Accounting/Finance/Marketing 81%
French/Spanish/OtherLanguage 75%
Religion/Theology 75%
HR/BusinessManagement 63%
Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health 063%
Psychology/Sociology 56%
History/Anthropology/LiberalArts 50%
PoliticalScience/Philosophy 44%
Biology/Chemistry/Geology 38%
Mathematics/Statistics 31%
Physics/Engineering/Computer 13%

AND YES. OMG. IM IN the WRONG COURSE
hallelujah and hooray manys to my righ decision :))
of a long rest for now.

2008-04-01T19:39:00.000-07:00

I see you pierced, wounded for me
When I look to the cross, I see

I see grace, sealed by your sacrifice
I see love, reaching for me
Precious blood washes and sanctify
Healing flows, setting me free
I see grace

I swear, nothing beats having a good buddy friend to hear your cries in the middle of the night, four plus five and give you the best solution, PRAY.

and I PRAY, and I SLEPT :)

and she choose to let go and let God.

2008-04-01T09:43:00.000-07:00

When all walls come tumbling down
and you think nothing's good about
I need a shoulder
I need a shoulder

When exams fails you now
and you have got nowhere to go somehow
I need a shoulder
I need a shoulder

When you try hard to smile and not to frown
and all people just kinda piss you now
I need a shoulder
I need a shoulder

When you need enlightenment so how?
do you cry like there's no tomorrow out loud
I need a shoulder
I need a shoulder

When fears and tears fill you right now
do you think you should cry or smile?
I need a shoulder
I need a shoulder

pls dont miss me when Im not around
not in school just not there somehow
no more smile for all of you in future or now
dont regret, dont miss, dont frown,
just smile :)

and lyrics by Alice
chords in voice singing by Alice
entitled I need a shoulder now.

2008-03-30T19:00:00.001-07:00

Its a happy day!
day out or a movie and job thingy
had a dream of jon asking us to worship after we wake up
kinda hilarious
cracked me up a little
mr sunshine is sho good today!
so, LIFE IS GREAT! LOL =D

cause.
JEsus is my superhero!

2008-03-30T00:33:00.000-07:00

LOL

I begin the day with a pep talk on the phone with my brother.
then followed by a good bath, feeling all is so good, Life is so Good yeah :)
then on to be log on to my computer as usual, but listening to the song by new creation church, by the title of I see grace, kinda mark the way I start my day. Like, with gratitude, I went to church with a thankful heart and into his courts, I sing praises unto the King of kings and Lord os lords :)

service was great, having freddy boey as the speaker. oh my god. he's such an humourouse preacher, that I swear, I laughed more than I talk during the service. LOL. overall, of course, I do learn after the entire service. and of course, God's presence never fail me bring me to tears, letting me know that its by his grace that I can stand in his presence.
this is a very beautiful song by new creation church, the title is I see grace.

kJesus my help, I call on your name
I cast my cares on you
Jesus my hope, my tower of strength
My faith is found in You

Bearer of sin, afflicted and tried
You paid redemption's price
Bearing my curse, you've set me on high
your death has brought me life

I see You pierced, wounded for me
When I look to the cross I see

I see grace, sealed by Your sacrifice
I see love reaching for me
Precious blood washes and sanctifies
Healing flows, setting me free
I see grace

and lunch over that botak jones was great. It been such a long time ever since I sat down with them, together in a round table sharing and having lots of fun together, the chit chat, the smiles, I think, is what makes the friendship worthwhile and still on, even after 9 years in the church :)
I love you guys. But there still be a tough decision to make on my side :) yep

and since exams voer, its time to let your hair down alice, go on movie, spash the water at the pool and fulfill your dreams.

like, driving a BMW at the age of 28 :))

I see grace, sealed by your sacrifice
I see love reaching for me

2008-03-28T12:06:00.000-07:00

oh, dear God of heaven,

will you please heal alice the little elf and grant her peace and joy so that she doesnt have to smile to cover up those *****?
In my mind, are just the memories of you :/

just some of the points taken and learnt during my quiet time

How are we to live?
Not by whining and complaining.
Not by falling into complacency
Not by lowering our standards or wavering in our morals
Not by reactive rather than proactive appraoches to problems.
We are to live according to our virtues

"Virtues reflect our core values. They are habits of the mind, the heart, and the soul. they are moral yardsticks against to measure our behaviour. Virtue begins with character: integrity, commitment, keeping promises, what we represent and how we represent those things that define the quality of our life.

its some hard decisions, I shareed with val darling and I felt so better after sharing with her. been bottling up myself for so long. I felt so horrible. It really a hard decision. All i know, It will definitely change my life totally, and affect others as well :(
Oh God, Im so frustrated. a this time.3.36am :(
I just feel like crying.

and one last thing, God doesnt want us to love him because of responsibilities. He wantes us to love him out of our very heart because we love him truly :)

and she closed her eyes, held her breathe and prayed with all her heart

2008-03-27T20:30:00.000-07:00

*
Today is another happy day.
maybe because of things happened and maybe I choose to be happy.
Just like this very sentence that my leadership and character teacher told us

" happy days are made by happy people, and happy people are made by choice" -anonymous

Come to think of it, Its true.
even tho sometimes, its kinda heart to even crack up a joke or a smile, that's when friends come and step in to bring a smile to your face.
Aint I right? LOL

and I just got to know the second pair of twins in my Life.
and I think its just so KEWL and cute LUH.
MINE YOU!. THEY'RE HANDSOME and so CUTE!

LOL.

I had a great dinner ytd, credited to Ted. LOL. SAKAE SUSHI!
alright man, we have common interest and big dreams.
WE WANT TO DRIVE BMW BEFORE THE AGE OF 28.
LOL.

WE ARE NOT NOOBS AND WE WORK HARD FOR OUR FUTURE OKI!
DONT PLAY PLAY.
LOL

and there she goes again.

and there she goes laughing and giggling with smiles that says, " I cherish "

second part of the day

I went out with my dear valerie :))
had so much of laughter and cockster and crapster
I always love going out with her.

BUT certains have to happen to spoil the happy day.
for examples,

my teacher called up my mother and told her how weak I am.
I have to see psychiatrist doctor
I have to see health doctor
my Cp thought im unstable, mentally and physically
oh god. Im damn sad luh :(
i feel like crying.

and the thought of changing course saddens me
It makes me feel inferior.
just going out for like one and a half hour to me is like giong ubin to cycle the whole day. that's how weak I am now.
val, its not psychological, its a matter of a fact and now I feel feverish and very tired.
oh god, why am i always so weak, fragile?
I hate myself :(

oh alice, oh alice, be so very strong.
oki, i shall go and sleep and not think so much. LOL

giggling has became a part of me.
its not a facade
its because, the joy of the Lord is my strength.
hallelujah, amen :)

2008-03-27T06:57:00.000-07:00

hmm, today is good :)
I think im addicted to the song STOP&STARE
I know God has new directions in my life.
I just need to take time to hear him out more and pray more.
overall, I think Life is good :))

oh yes, a group of friends whom i dont know saw me with two CJ7 in the MRT, and he went
boy: eh! CJ& eh!
and me: smile and stupidly, swing my two CJ7, flaunting it like a kid.
boys and one girl went: HAHAHA

o.O! =.=!!!
oh my god. am I funny or am I not?
oh god, must be the imbalance of humor hormones in me
must be

and me and my knock it down caused ted and his friend to laugh their lungs out.
I mean, c'mon, I didnt mean it
I didnt mean to make you guys laugh
and ted went: SIBEI funny. HAHA

I think I have a different unique taste, aprt from my laughter, like all my friends say LA.
I love to eat bittergourd. I think its so nice. Its like one of teh nicest thing that God has made. LOL
I love to eat durian puff but not durian with the seed
I love to eat porridge with marmite if you know what is it. and I get addicted to it
LOL

I think mummy's so nice. she bought the Scott's Emulsion for me.
Oh I feel so LOVED !
ah!
Oh I feel so LOVED! LOL

GODblessallmyLOVEDones! :))

alice
alices
aliced
alic-ing

2008-03-26T19:31:00.000-07:00

feeeling so happy again!
HAHA! I love this feeling! who doesnt anyway!? LOL
like I always love to say, smile for the day is new and raindrops are few. but right, many times after i say this sentence, it starts to rain like the next moment. T.T =.=
haha

today, later m gonna meet up with xiaoting, followed by choir at night. Should I quit?
I dont know. LOL

maybe becuase thiss makes my day too. I HEARTS XMAN.
they remind me of baybay and another friend of mine. LOL. so cute LUH!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTPOMM9b49Y&feature=related

I always go crazy for those two brother. I just love their dance so much. LOL
SH! SH! SH! SH! SARANGHEYO! haha, people, view more and you'll know what im talking about yeah =D

2008-03-26T03:34:00.000-07:00

FINALLY!
sup papers over!!
HOLIDAYS!! :)
for the second TIME! LOL!!
But I think Im going to plan the rest of my holidays well. I dont to waste time. LOL sounds like some CEO but sadly Im not. LOL

I wante to be tho. ONE DAY. maybe. I look forawrd. I shall wait&see. But of course, you need to put in hard work and effort :))

It not easy to try to stand up and walk again. But I will be strong. very very strong.
God will see me thru :)

I just wante to know God in a greater measure, experience Him in a different dimension, giving my entire to him and nobody else. till, 3 years later :))

its me again

2008-03-25T01:49:00.001-07:00

I was sitting at my favourite corner in the bus, feeling so warm because of the merciless rays blazing from the scorching sun that hung itself high in its glorious light.
The world revolved around me but in my mind were a storm of raging seas.
Many thoughts just came flooding in, without any of my permission, penetrating the very depth of my heart, causing me to feel inferior of myself.
I was reminded of something that my leadership teacher taught us that no one can make you feel inferior without your permission.
Yes, that's so true.
But I seem to lose control each time I think of my weakness and failures in life, I surrender at the thought of it.

What do I really need to do to meet up to your expectations of being a good filial girl?
Haven't I been good?
I eat three meals or atleast two meals everyday, I stopped skipping meals.
I reach home everyday before 12am. Or should i say, I donteven go out at night. Except for night runs which I really really enjoy.
I dont retaliate even when I wanted to do so. even you're wrong and Im right.
I washed my clothes. and even meimei's clothes.
I did housechores. even when you did ask me to.
I cleared the dog's shitty and pee- even tho I dont like it at all. who likes it anyway? LOL
I packed my room every now and then. even when you didnt come in and nag at me.
I kept the towels properly. even without you coming in and out to check for towels thrown all over the place.
I did not anyhow spend money. I SAVE!! LOL. its a MIRACLE! :)
Infact, I saving as much as I could. YES I AM!
10 dollars I can use for two or three days. that's like WOW! LAH!
I've stop sleeping so much, infact, I do not even have enough hours of sleep everyday. yes, I look so cui everyday.
Im very honest and I didnt eat outside meals for dinner
I came home for dinner o eat what you cook for me
Im really improving . Im really trying so hard.
But tell me, what is it that makes you think that we, the three kids are driving you crazy???

I need to grow mum.
Im no longer that geek that I used to be in secondary days.
I love to go shopping.
I dont used to go shopping because you do not bring me there and infact you do not allow me to go even when Im free after school. I come home straight after school. I walk three bus stops in order to save money on transport.
Now that I've grown up, I went to work part time before, I've earn a little sum of money, I started to see things in the world differently. how real and how everyone wears two mask to work and everywhere they are.
How people twist theirs words and hurt people around them. How people wear a facade everyday, pretending to be nice to their colleages but the next thing they do for them is to turn around and bite them on their back.
I've learn so much and you just always think that Im immature. yes, I may be childish at times. I have not lose the kiddish side of me.
I love to play, to joke, to laugh around and to be with friends.
But why do you limit my growing experience. Why did you lock me in my own prison of conservativeness and did not allow me to explore. Im eighteen already. Im reaching the digit 2 in just two years time. Will you trust me mum, Will you?

Im not sad that you gave me a big blow. Im just wondering why. Im really curious. I wante you to tell me that why did you vent it on the both of us when we did not do anything wrong. Yes, you're just angry but you dont have to do it. you dont ahve to use vulgar words. you know I hate it. oh god, tell me why. I dont need an explanation. I just need encouragement.

meimei's got four years to go. and me, three years and I thank God, that its not five. LOL. so I have been thinking its five year.mistake on my own. till my friend reminded me and corrected me. LOL! LOL. I think three years are quite fast. I dont wante to waste anymore time. I want to get up quick, be strong, trust God and grow to my most potential. Oh God, I ask for boldness to face problems, strength to overcome them and self-control to overcome temptatoins, even to resist them and stay true to my core beliefs and just be who I am.

I was climbing up the flight fo stairs.
Each time I look up, I see a long stretch of stairs and my paranoid-ness began again. Bu I've decided not to be a loser in life, I do not awante to blame anyone for my health, not eve myself.
I just wante to stand up each time I fall for I know that My God will never leave me nor forsake me. even now as I type thing,
scenes of how I overcome the problems i my life thru God's hands and plans, tears began to well up in my eyes.
God, you're just so good to me, I would never wante to have the thought of giving up on life and myself anymore.
I wante to live my life to the fullest.
For you and for those people who cares for me.
I dont wante to live on people's expectations.
I just wante to follow you Lord, to move in your Spirit and to be obedient to you.
I dont wante any relationship, neither do I wante to be hurt because of the wrong person If it might be if I get nto relationship.
I give myself and God three years now.
and you must wait for me no matter what. because you know I will.
and daddyGod, you are my only love now! :)
are you glad oh daddy GOd?
God, take hold of me. and help me to be strong. even without boyfriends(not that I haveLOL) even without friends to stand by me, I know that God, you are with me. always and forever

oh god, I just wante to be myself. who exactly am I?

PLS. I dont need those weird looking eyes that spoke things in m mind which makes me feel inferior. I dont need. I really dont need. neither do I appreciate it.

oh yes, before I go, I wante to say something about what took place in front of me and I was really shocked. I was eating with yaoli and peng he(stringray), I could my meal so I left it there. I bet it turned cold after awhile and just the next moment, a middle age man came todays me and say those words in chinese. haven finish? I eat, I have no money to buy food, let me eat your food. and gosh. I was taken aback. I couldnt believe what I've just saw that a uncle with perfectly hands and legs telling me he has no money and he just took it away and eat it? For e moment, I was abhorred by the unhygienic part of me. but the mext split secod, I was ashamed of myself that I never fail to left food after I eat. I didnt cherish what I have in my life. that is Fod.. I always telling people esp my good buddies around me that I love to eat but i always didnt manage to clear them up.
After 10 minutes, I was still in the state of shock. but this changed and impacted my life totally. Im not gonna waste food anymore. Im gonna cherish everything that I have in my life. Food, parents, siblings, friends, a house to live in, my animals, my books, my stationary, my bed, my bible, my church. I'll not buy new clothes until there is a need. I'll not buy food jst for the sake of pleasure eating. I'll ont eat good food just to take pleasure in it. I'll not use good stuff and branded stuff just for the sake of pride and the name and quality of it. I'll cherish all that I have,and I that Iam.

GOd, thankyou for that unprecedented event that changed my mindset and actions. Each time I waste stuff, let me be reminded of that scene.

Oh daddy God, keepmyeyes on you and keep my faith.

2008-03-24T08:17:00.000-07:00

can you see JESUS waving his hand at you?
"Alice, do not be afraid my daughter. I see the tears you've shed. I collect them and keep it"

this is from baybay.

Im so happy
Im so touched
I dont know what to say.
Im strengthened . very much.
I cant sleep without seeing HIS(not you baybay! LOL) smiles but I can sleep with smiles

thankyouso much,
friends forever :))

2008-03-24T07:53:00.000-07:00

Stop&Stare

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years

Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare

You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh

Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need
What u need, what u need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...

a nice song, introed by justin :))

2008-03-24T07:09:00.000-07:00

那一个耳光我以为只有在最作文和故事书或电视节目才能看得见
可是我从来没有想过我也像他们一样，被妈妈杀了一耳光
这种感受好痛。
这颗心已破碎了
绝望了
消失了
信心也全没了
为何要没我为你的一份孩子心？

its just a postman who gave attitude. you can choose to ignore and not to be bothered by him. and why did you get so worked up to give the twins a bad day today? It was one of those saddest moments in our life.

No I told myself to hod my breathe,
Apart of me was dyingthere was nothing left for me to o now
But give in

All you cared was your face and what your the other life old partner who left u would see and think of you
whether you are capable of bringing up the 3 kids
but you never thought how much we each have to go through the emotional turmoil of accepting a fatherless family, and now, a lack of mother love family.
I understand how you feel but did you understand how alice feels? no you dont
you never did. you never did

To you, we're all your letdown kids, we're failures in your eyes.
meimei, you said that you're a letdown, I believe Im much worse. becuase I've been thru tough times of sadness. I failed all my papers. I failed my loved one's expectation. there's no reason to love myself and I dont fit to be your sister. Im the worse, worse than a sinner. but God still loves and accepts me. for this, Im very amazed by GOd's love. In all this universe, you're the bestest meimei in my life and in the whole wide world. Im the worse of all. Im sorry for sarcastic words I used. I will learn to stop using them. thankyou for caring for me and loving me the way I am. No matter, I'll be there for you always oki? Be strong, my dear little sister :))

both of use held strong to our beliefs and love for God
that GOd will make a way when there seems to be no way
God, give me time to forgve. It so hard. It more than what I can do to forgive someone who hurt without thinking for another party. It oki. Its alright, alice alice fight fight fight!

God, i thankyou for giving me my twin. I know among the two of us, she's the stronger and the more brave one. Im more timid and always paranoid. She saw me cried. She offered her handphone to me to listen to those encouraging christian songs. I felt so touched. I love meimei :)

I havee to thank few friends. like jon turtle, lix and guanpeng. I didnt to cry infront of you guys but I hope you guys know I was so sad, I had no choice but to cry. I felt good after a good cry thought and esp you know that your friends are by your side, there's nothing to fear, nothing to be ashamed of. thankyou guys, ILOVEYOUALL!

and to xiaoting, she called and prayed for me. I just love her so much. she's so nice. like my da jiejie like that. HUGS YOU LOVELY GIRL! ILOVEYOUSO!

and to baybay. who encouraged me always. I love people encouraging me cause I know I do better with people supporting me. I'll not give up, I'll be strong always, knowing that GOd is by my side. thankyou BAYBAY! you are LOVED TOO!

and lastly to justin who stood by my side no matter what happens, I thankyou SOOOOO much! He knew what was needed at the moment of time. just someone to be there. thankyou, I pray that God will bless u many many and may you return to him, soon. I know it takes time, I here for you too okie. jiayou and dont give up! we're all here for you XD

God, Im grateful for my life.
I live without regrets cause I have great friends :))

不要轻易放弃
否则对不起自己:))

2008-03-23T03:16:00.000-07:00

phrase of the day

SH! SH! SH! SH!
SARANGHEYO! :)

by XMAN.

and maybe.

BACK TO THE OLD SCHOOL
yeah yeah yeah yeah XD

turbo, i love!

and there's this bunch of cheerleading friend who renewed my love and passion for kim jong kook and hahashi.
i still think, i ove, LOVE IS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwRzCCOG4-0&feature=related

view it and say, they're good! the best!

at night, I was chatting with my friend baybay, and many thoughts came to my mind.

I was thankful tho. Cause for a very long, I've busy with friends, schoolwork that I hardly got the time to stop and think and thankGOd for many things. I dont mind losing the time now I can for studies. Cause I think, its my life and its very so very important how I deal with it. as daddy GOd will judge every single moment on how I spent it.

behind that smile, were thigns that happened thatt u guys nv imagine. even one of my friends said, you should be going thru that. its not part of the pain. but its already over. and I have a life story to tell. I think, GOd is still great and wonderful, to me. to which, I cry even the thought of how he rescued me from *******************************from good friends. and to the alice now, I know, God is real and I wante to serve him, love him with my whole heart. and tell the whole world that Jesus lives.
Being strong is just the front. laugh and smile is just infront of friends. behind friends, i think, more than twenty buckets of tears, would not be enough. sufficient. Its never easy but what I learnt from the children's church on Easter day was that God will never leave you nor forsake you. and It just so true.

And I have thank daddy God for many friends in my life. Like justin, who encouraged and nv failed to make me smile when I felt sad or discouraged. and never failed to give me different surprises that I would neve expected. LOL. thankyou JUSTIN. you know how much you mean to me.and also, Baybay who actually taught me that that you don't have to be bothered how others think about you, just be yourself and that's enough and I felt really comfortable with them. so much fun and so much to learn, tho I bet they dont know how much they've impacted my life. thankyou soooooooo much! I LOVEYOU GUYS! *omg, i felt like crying.* HAHA

an I have to thank daddy God for renewing my love for HIM and telling me to return to him.

JESUS IS MY SUPERHERO
He's the one who made the sunshine
He's the one who put the moon in the sky
He's the one who hung the star one by one
He's the one who made the bird sing

Jesus you're my super hero
you're my star my best friend
Jesus you're my super hero
you're my sun my best friend
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

PLS LISTEN! you'll love the songs and the kids!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwyd6u4mJ94

king of majesty
king of majesty, I have one desire
just to be with you My LOrd
Jesus you are the Saviour of my Soul
and forever andever I will give my praises to you
Jesus you are the Saviour of my Soul
and forever andever I will give my praises to you
Jesus you are the Saviour of my Soul
and forever andever I will give my praises to you

******************are things that happened in my life and only close friends know :))

2008-03-22T19:34:00.000-07:00

the moon represent my heart <3

LOL. good morning everyone!
alice's feeling good and happy today yeah!
yesterday was great too, even tho there were hiccups in some part of the day, but i still think, overall, its worth smilling in my sleep too :)
today started very differently, insteadof nua-ing like my normal routine, nua already go use com, i nua alrady go and run eh! its a breakthru :) cause i thought, i'll nv be able to run cause of my weak physical being. LOL. but i did. I started small. I did
1. 20 push ups
2. 20 sit ups
3. 8 incline pull up
4. one big rounf of bedok, from bedok stadium all the way to library and back home :)
I FEEL GOOD. I love running. esp late runnings and early jog :) refresh my lungs and makes me whole

later Im going to my friend's church at expo. I look forward cause city harvest always give me different surprises. one reason I like about ciy harvest. LOL. my friends came over to my church ytd for teh wrong clan drama. It was quite funny. I like, esp the towkay wong's sinister laughter. LOL. so cute la. I nv thought he would do that. and Im so proud of emily and val they were awesome! with the make up and short skirt and long dress. they looked so good! :))

dear God, I pray that you help me to love others and see them thru your eyes. not to judge but to love. not to be loved but to show love. your love that is everlastig and covers sin and take away the shame of the world. ILOVEYOUDADDYGOD. Lord, you are good yeah...

she hit the flo. LOL

2008-03-22T00:22:00.001-07:00

I love the song by kim jong kook: To her man
but sadly, Iweb music doesnt have
and I ended up anyhow choose, got Maria Ave Maria as my song on my blog. LOL

2008-03-21T21:12:00.000-07:00

2008-03-21T09:03:00.000-07:00

can i ever have faith enough to stand up against critics and spammation?( definition of MOTHER'S SCOLDINGS)
can i dont cry each time she spam me?
can I?
can I have somebody to tell me,
ALICE, you can
cause I believe GOd will give you strength.
Amen

and He died for me, Jesus, my king.
i'll learnt to cherish that old rugged cross
that came with a great sacrifice of losing His son, just for my redemption.
Oh God, I shall nv look down or hate myself anymore, because of what you done for me,
I felt so special
and you too, made my day, GOD! I love you man!

alice, yes alice
be very very strong .

2008-03-20T21:06:00.000-07:00

today is just so a Happy day!

because I rmbed this from the bible, tho sorrow may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning! :)

and I'll cherish the old rugged cross, and exchange it someday for a crown :)

things to do today:)

1. go church
2. meet liqiang for work thingy
3. meet my friend for lunch
4. help out in children's church for easter later
5. study and more studying :)

WEE

oh its a happy day yeahh :)

2nd part of the day :)

I will never forget today. so much memories, with my friend :)) HEARTS YA!
and my dear kids at children's church.

They really made my day. I was so happy. I couldnt stop smiling.
I couldnt stop singing. I just couldnt. LOL
I met cute little kids. they are

WESLEY!!! MY FAVOURITE BOY XD He gave me a little peck on my cheek. AWW! that's like so so so sweet!!~~!!

MILICENT!!! MY CUTIE PIE. she said, jiejie, dont leave me, I wante you by my side!

CALVIN!!! MY NEW FRIEND WHO SAID IM CUTE! LOL he's very cute and chubby too (:

MILICA!!! THE BEARBEAR ANGMOH LITTLE GIRL :)) she's damn cute!

OH, I love them so much. SO SO much.

and not forgetting FAITH!!! THE SWEETHEART HAO KE AI! she looks like her mum!

seeing those kids really warm my heart and one of the helpers said, I can see that the children loves you alot cause you're just like them! I went okay~~ HAHA! HAHAHA!~~

i choose not to allow what my mum said kill the joy :)
alice, be strong, you are loved and God loves you (:

EMO DAY

2008-03-20T05:33:00.000-07:00

I dont know why, no matter how hard I try, I cant seem to cheer up
Tho friends stood by me and really make me smile, after that, I bounce back. Its not like other days.
really only one BMIC paper can affect me so much? that's amazing man.
I wante to smile but my heart hurts.
I wante to laugh but my heart stops it.
I wante to sleep but my heart reminds me I cant, Im lousy, I ought to study like crazy
I wante to be happy but my heart says, no, you cant, you dont have a reason too.
maybe its because Im a perfectionist. I felt DOWN. I just felt down. like anyone come and tell me off now will be sorry all their life. cause I'll be so pissed that I'll rant rant yell yell stomp out of the house. NAH KIDDING. I wont. Im too tired to stomp out. I'll prolly dragg my feets out.

oh daddy God, cna you pls tell me why.

WHY :(

I have many funny problems which i dont know if its good or not.

2008-03-20T04:43:00.000-07:00

tell me if its good okiE?

1. I talk to myself alort
2. I stone alort
3. I do pig face to myself out of sudden alort
4. I laugh at my own jokes and funny nick names i MADE for MYSELF. LMAO
5. I want to buy something for myself then forgot and ended up buy for my sister
6. I talk to strangers NORMALLY
7. I have more guy friends. not BOYFRIENDS PUHLEASE
8. I like to rhyme words like crazy
9. I want to slim down from 44kg to 39 kg in one month
10. I want to grow long hair then cut like a butch hairstyle. then forget it, my hair doesnt stand. its against gravity. LOL

God, is it oki to be like this?

2008-03-20T04:13:00.000-07:00

instructions are you're only allowed to answer using the first letter of your name and you cant put your own name for boy/girl name.
Your name: ALICE
Four words: apple, aeroplane, ah ma, ah beng.
State/country: Africa
Boy Name: Alistair
Girl Name: Ariel
Occupation: Idontknow.seriously.
Word that describes you the best: Amazing. LOL
Something you can wear: A ring
Something found in a kitchen: A pot
Name one object that is so valuable to you: A friend
Something you shout: AKU tata wu!
!Something you do at school: asleep. LOL? Name of a friend: Adelyn
Name of an animal: a CAt
.Name of a drink: apple juice
Name of a holiday: April fool
Name of a subject in school: A Maths.
Name of a fast food: A popeye
Name of a person you're crushing or had a crush on: DONT HAVE NOT START WITH A.
.Name of a food you like: Apple.
Name of a food you do not like: Avogrado
Name of a game: Audition
Name of a flowering plant: alamanda
Name of a shopping mall: DONT HAVE LOR
Name of a person you like: A BOY
Name of a person you dislike: DONT HAVE
Name of a place in your school: A toilet
Name of an object in front of you: A clock

aparrently, A is such a difficult word to match and i have limited vocab. I swear, I will not do this kind of thing ever again. tho i was bored and i kope this from matata. LOL

Like a bridge over troubled waters to Life is good and really, it is :)

2008-03-19T20:38:00.000-07:00

When youre weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes,
I will dry them all;Im on your side. when times get rough
And friends just cant be found,
Like a bridge over troubled waterI will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled waterI will lay me down.
When youre down and out,When youre on the street,
When evening falls so hardI will comfort you.Ill take your part.
When darkness comesAnd pains is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled waterI will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled waterI will lay me down.
Sail on silvergirl,Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.See how they shine
.If you need a friendIm sailing right behind.
Like a bridge over troubled waterI will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled waterI will ease your mind.

ohgod, bless my bmic paper, for it sucks like dont know what .

and after talking much to tzu yu, somehow I felt enlightened and justin made my day with macchiato, I felt, Life is good, once again. LOL
I always think, nothing beats, someone being there for you and listening to your troubles and woes, somebody to lend you ears when they can actually give their ears to their ipod, zen stone or whatsoever. and willing to spend lunchtime with you even tho one may not be eating. but just to spend time with you, they're contented. I just found it real sweet. I wish I have more of such friend. But then, I think I should learn to cherish someone. yes you :)
hmm, maybe my church friends can do more of this to me. Val dear, hear me? LOL
Im the bombom
stanley's the bubuzai
my sister dont know what also. LOL
I thought one day I should go shopping with my sister and I'll buy for her watever she wantes. When i work and have the money. the first person I'll thank is my meimei. I'll save one hundred just for my sister to spend :)
silent wars we had, continuous laughter for more than ten minutes we had, thankyou for being sucha great sister, my lovely twin, muacks! :))

I was there, when the sun wasn't shining
When the pain was blinding u, those tears and fears
Never give in, to saddness that surrounds you
Find a way,reach deep inside and just let your love shine through
Cause tomorrow is just a little step away
I'll be there, to help you start believing love again
Tell me that you're waiting, waiting for that happiness.
Is there a easy way into your heart, Must be some ways where we can make a start
I am for real and i'm just a step away
And when u leave the pain from past behind,
You'll see the world in a different state of mind
I will be there, waiting to see your smile
Cause tomorrow is just a little step away
I'll be there, to help you start believing love again
Tell me that you're waiting, Waiting for that happiness.
Please seal the lights, our hearts take flight~
To tomorrow is just a little step away
I'll be there, as long as you believe in love again
Why must we still be waiting,
Oh please don't keep me waiting.. oh no..
Cause I know that we're waiting..
Waiting for that happiness
Don't look away
Just take a look
Soon you will find
Life's really good!

I really love this song alort :)

I feeeeeel good cause Life is good :))))))

2008-03-18T21:39:00.000-07:00

I dont know why, I feel so happy.

oki, Im here to state my goals by the end of the holidays
Yes, I know its sounds funny, But im still gonna blog it, to remind myself to be faithful and loyal to my Goals.

1. slim down to 39kg
2. get a new bag
3. get some new clothes for the new summer semester
4. read finish at least 2 books
5. do housechores 3 times a week
6. pack my room 3 times a week
7. Learn swimming by the end of this holiday

songs on my mind: Jaysmelly's caihong
Nathan Hartono's Life is good and crazy little thing called Love and My crush
MILUBING'S 泪
hillsongkids, superhero
Charlotte Church's Bridge over troubled water

things on my mind : STUDIES
MUSIC MINISTRY
GOD
YOU :)
VAL

things I wante to do: RUN
readstorybook
sing the songs "what if cartoons got saved"
and "Life is good" and "yang guang zhi nan".
EAT my lunch
Buy Pocky
Hug a bear and spongebob(but I dont have one :/)

...LIFE IS GOOD..that's all i can catch. LOL

I was there

when the sun wasnt shinning

when the pain was blinding you, those tears and fears

never give in

the sadness that surround you

Find a way which deep inside and just let it shine through

cause tomorow is just a little step away

I'll be there to help you start believing in life again

I tell that you're waiting

waiting for that happiness

Is there a easier way into your heart

must be someway we can go back to the start

I have and Im just a step away

and when youleave the painful past behind

you'll see the world with a different state of mind

I will be there, waiting to see your smile

cause tomorrow is just a little step away

I'll be there to help you start believing in life again

I tell that you're waiting
waiting for that happiness

Pls see the light

our heart see the light

STUDY HARD ALICE!

whyhecanmakehersmile??? @_@

one day counting down :/ to my exams.

2008-03-18T02:32:00.000-07:00

weeeee!

Im reminded of this song from high school musical: Got to go my own way
esp the chorus

I got to move on and be who I am
I just dont belong here
I hope you understand
If I find a place in this world someday
But at least falling out
I got to go my own way

and this song too: never let you go

The way you left me on the train
I dont know what to sayI remember everything that day
I cant believe we never dance
just need one more chance to share the sunset on our one romance
no I told myself to hold my breathe
a part of me was dyingthere was nothing left for me to do now
But give in

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I wont live my life without you
If you gave me one chance to tell
I would hold your handsand look in your eyes
you know I'll never let you go

significance is big. this song. REAL BIG. lol

dear God, pls give me extra dosage of wisdom because
ALICE NEED TO PASS MY HER EXAMS.
I think mentally, Im not strong at all, I kept thinking I wont make it and even thought of plans what if I dont make it.
GOSH. How can I like this!? this is not the way alice!! you must be optimistic, even tho for a pessimist, you are optimistic. but that's shuldnt be the way. always rmb, DONT EVER DISAPPOINT LEADERS AND FRIENDS WHO CARES! jiayouuuu! ganbette!
I felt stress man. yet i seem to be running away from studying esp at night, giving myself all sorts of REAL excuse, like fatigue. I AM. really.

God, send a superman to save wonderwoman.
send a superman to save alice!

LOL

what if cartoons got saved?
she loves to play polly pocket, eat the pocky and pur like a cat. MEOW ~ :)

2008-03-17T21:03:00.001-07:00

IM HAPPY!

test :)))

2008-03-17T21:01:00.001-07:00

testing!

test

2008-03-17T20:38:00.000-07:00

testing :)